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| Learning to Dance |
Wedding Invitations and preparations. Celebrations before the big day for Him and Her. The hustle and bustle of the wedding party and family members as they await the day two love birds 'tie the knot'. Weddings can be so thrilling can't they. Two people coming together to share the joys and sadness which life can bring throughout ones lifetime. Two people coming together to begin learning their personal and unique marriage 'dance' which will only be perfected through the years and time together.
Headed into my personal journey with my spouse, I realized at celebrating our 2 year anniversary that I had been practicing part of my marriage 'dance' poorly. This country's media and connotation around a woman's role to her husband can sometimes be ever so blinding to the truth our God so dearly wishes to show us. I had not realized how easily selfishness can make it's way into our home. Whether is has been months or two weeks, it is too long for it to be present. As a couple, we are not merely romantically living together, but fulfilling a calling which involves two different roles in order to have victory and show God's glory. I do not believe that having a personal dream is not worth fighting for or worth pursuing. Neither do I believe that skills which we are good it should not be mastered. But the dangers of a straying and stubborn heart can be deceiving and if my heart's desires only lie within what my skills can attain physically, then I will begin to stumble and loose step in this dance of mine. I have noticed that for myself, sometimes in pursuing something with selfish intentions it is coming from the root of seeking only my personal benefits and not those of others I care about. And the person that feels it the most is the one who lives with me day in and day out. This can lead to bargaining and punishment which is very destructive. Because I was acting upon my selfish needs, I would find myself saying, "If you do not do this, then I will not do this" or "Only if you take care of this, will I take care of this". Later I would think, how did I let such reasoning escape my lips? Somewhere along the way, I had forgotten the importance of being a selfless helper to my husband. Team work is great but a servant's heart within this team work is what God intended. I cannot be much of a team player or helper if I am constantly seeking what is beneficial to me or will make only myslef feel better. If my home is based upon "to each his own", it will not be able to last. I always wondered why I couldn't have been born with a more gentle heart like some of my siblings. I have an easily tempered heart with strong opinions and stubborn determinations! Oh the joy!
I have come to be content with the strong personality God gave me although it may need to be worked on and tamed at times and it is for that reason, I have given him the reigns to use for his Glory and pull when needed!
God has calmed and challenged my strong willed heart to seek gentleness and kindness when it comes to our dance together. Sometimes it is easier to show kindness outside of the home and I am working on not forgetting that kindness towards me partner is most important. I know it may seem like a no-brainier for some of you but for some reason, just recently I realized how much I needed this reminder! He has challenged me to continue the practice of a selfless heart in order for me to be the helper and aid my team mate needs. That is my main calling as a wife and it is easier said then done!
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18
